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A self-indulgent Author's note inre the 3rd edition of The Techno Pagan Octopus Messiah, Coming soon to a digital platform near you

Hey Folks,

First, Gratitude. Second,

Here's the F***ing deal, Okay?

IMHO, the book, as published, is a mess. This is because...
1. The first draft was written in pen (google it), in fifteen run-on notebooks, which got mixed up because

2. I WAS SO HIGH on indian Government Bhang MY EYES WERE BLEEDING.

3. Upon acceptance for publication I was told:
     a) to alter certain events for legal reasons
     b) it must be less than 288 pages because books are bound in 12 page lots, we're on a limited budget and
     c) we don't have much time to edit so how 'bout you do that mostly yourself and on the quick, chop-chop. Therefore:

4. I MADE BAD CHOICES. I WAS 28, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

TPOM is, at heart, a memoir. It was published as a novel to avoid a massive lawsuit — and in the Hunter S. Thompson spirit of "fiction being the truest form of journalism." Since then, I have learned (thank you super-agent Peter Cox) that no-one owns the rights to your life story and anyone can sue you for any reason at any time.
WHICH IS WHY...
For the last several months I've been working day and night (okay, day) to run a comb through TPOM; to elaborate on what was glossed-over, condense what was repetitive, and hew things closer to the truth — while still not getting sued or writing outright fiction. To that end I have reinstated half a chapter set in Varanasi, my favorite poem, conversations with a bonafide Hindu holy man (!?), and a potentially redemptive penultimate scene which somehow ended up on the cutting room floor.
Given all that I still stand by the first editions. They are true to what I thought was best at the time and besides: TPOM was the what brought my beautiful wife and I together after she contacted me to replace a mutual friend's signed copy she'd accidentally dropped off a boat in southwest Thailand — how cool is that?
In short: the digital — and hopefully audio — edition will be a better telling of this ridiculous story.
And I truly hope you do enjoy it.
NAMASTE (literal Sanskrit translation: not me, you),
Ian

(There are people in this world who make everything worth it. Mrs. Cathy Winn is one of them)

(It isn't breach of privacy when the photo's been on magazine covers. And that, my friends, is me covering MY ass.) x

(It isn't breach of privacy when the photo's been on magazine covers. And that, my friends, is me covering MY ass.) x